She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
