if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
wow bdsm is so cute
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