Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wish i was in the wii world.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
