I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
zippers are such a cool invention
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
