Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
