After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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