Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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