I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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