just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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