oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
