Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
