I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
