Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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