I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
