he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
My bed smells like the plague
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
