I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I need water and some morals
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
