Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize