Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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