No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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