party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize