What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
