ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
