Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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