So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
