I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
