Got a toothbrush?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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