It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
