do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
