a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
