Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
