they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
