so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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