margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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