at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
