I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
