i don't like sucking hair
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize