i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize