I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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