I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
