Whod you bang
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
