So drunk its hurt
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
