Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
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