i think i have herpe
just one?
organizing the empties. That sober.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
