I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
this is an emotional support booty call
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize