I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
