Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
should my penis look like a turkey
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
there is glitter all over my balls
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize