i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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