He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
