Sry I called you an 8
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
