yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize