why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
