If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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