You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
