There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
