Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.

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(941): View more from Florida

She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???

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(760): View more from California

It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.

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(816): View more from Missouri

votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads

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(503): View more from Oregon

This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time

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(586): View more from Michigan

Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.

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