i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
