My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
