we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
smell my finger.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
