Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
