Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
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