it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I am one with the molecules
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
