They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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