the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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