I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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