what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
