are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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