There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
being pregnant is like rehab
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
