Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
