It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
