The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
