I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
