rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
