she was so not down for the gang bang
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
