Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
