There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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