Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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