I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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