I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize