Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
