instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
